The 3 1/2 pound baby girl I delivered yesterday died in the middle of the night. We did everything we could with these limited resources, but she needed more oxygen. It would never happen in the states. I feel so helpless.
At 4am I was called to see a pregnant woman with cerebral malaria. She was lying on the stretcher with a older woman on either side of her. She was non responsive in a coma like state, but intermittently she would wail. I hesitantly placed the ultrasound on her belly to check the baby and the heart rate was in the 60s. I felt totally overwhelmed with the ethics of the decision. I prayed and cried. If I did a c-section the baby would probably still die, and we would also put the mother's life at even more risk. I pleaded with Jesus to make the decision, and not me. With tears rolling down my face,  I decided against the c-section. We treated the mother with the hospital protocol for cerebral malaria. The mortality is about 20% and even higher in pregnant women. I prayed under the stars on the way back to my apartment and couldn't sleep the rest of the night. I researched cerebral malaria, and there was nothing more we could do...no ventilators, telemetry, or ICU. Her baby died an hour later, and she died shortly thereafter.
This morning as I was journaling about her, the song "Blessings" was playing...."what if the storms in this life are just your blessings in disguise.....what if 1000 sleepless nights is what it takes to know you're near."
The Galmi emotional roller coaster took an upward turn today. I had a day off, and 5 of us went on a 3 hour camel ride. We rode out to a village and were greeted by the chief. He invited us into his hut, and all the children in the village gathered around. They were especially interested in the 3 year old boy who was with us. The chief left for a few minutes and returned in his full turban and robe and wanted his picture taken! The village felt very peaceful. This has been a very dry year, and they are worried about starvation hitting even more in a few months. It was heart wrenching looking at the children knowing they might be even hungrier soon. Tomorrow a few people are going to bring a picture of the chief back to him and some food for the children. I just wanted to scoop them all up.

Hal Vick and I with our new friends!

Sweet village children

The village chief

 

In the midst of all of this, God is closer than ever. When I arrived, the verse on my table was the same verse I claimed my first mission trip almost 7 years ago....
"I have set the Lord always before me; because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken."
Blessings and Peace,
Drea